her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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