I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
