I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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