pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
