Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
