Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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