My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
where are you?
Hypothermia
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
