he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
