nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Randomize
