guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need a beard to bite.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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