Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
