I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
