He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
