it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
