I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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