You're so nebulous sometimes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
