The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
