you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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