Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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