I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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