Someone shit on the floor
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
