you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
