YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
