I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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