Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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