Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
