I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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