her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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