Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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