Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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