And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize