I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
