She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
