I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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