You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
