It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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