I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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