Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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