I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
