I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
