I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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