Kiss
Puke
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
