I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
