it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
