when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
