shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Vodka?
Forever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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