May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize