Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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