Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
