it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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