Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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