id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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