She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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