i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
