Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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