Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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