What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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