BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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