Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
