quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
