well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
