he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize