i permit you to call me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
