just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
