I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
